


The Comfort

by GettingMetaphysical



Series: All by Myself: A Doctorcest Storyline [4]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Banter, Character Study, Doctorcest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Mind Meld, Mind Sex, Oral Sex, Psychological Drama, Romance, Self-Acceptance, Self-cest, Sexual Repression, doctorbation - Freeform, selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:17:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3203954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingMetaphysical/pseuds/GettingMetaphysical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fifth Doctor finds himself alone in a nightclub, when suddenly, his Sixth self saunters along to invite him for a dance. Then, up to a room which contains no chairs. The Doctor, against his better judgement, agrees to spend the night with himself. It may have been a life altering decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> * * *

  
It wasn’t often he ended up without company these days.

The new body – young-looking, blonde and inexplicably suited for cricket – was but a few months old, and the Doctor rather enjoyed the newfound spryness, though the personality was a touch awkward.

Today, the TARDIS had landed on Upper (sometimes just Outer) Bellhaven, one twin of an orbiting pair in the Coat of Rose Galaxy. The Doctor, Tegan, Nyssa and Adric had walked in dingy, heavy-scented gardens and marketplaces through a pleasant if uneventful day.

As evening came, all four went back to the blue box, parked outside of a combined dance club and pub. The Doctor decided to stay behind for a drink, and told them he’d be back late. He didn’t _know_ this, but guessed it was likely.

He supposed he wanted to be by himself for a while. Even if he was awake when his companions slept, he always seemed to distract himself by tinkering with various problems within the TARDIS, reading, inspecting his ships’s rooms, even trying to cook or bake.

Ever since the regeneration, and the worst trauma yet (the Time Lord worried it would only increase as he went along), something had been nagging the back of his head. Like the kind of buzzing you only noticed when everywhere else was quiet, or a rustling in your hair when all of you were still. It was so small that even when the Doctor took a break to ponder this, he forgot what it was as soon as he stopped concentrating. So he wasn’t so much pondering as letting his thoughts waver, unspecific yet scanning every bit of his environment in search of something curious. 

Now, the Doctor stood slumped against the counter, staring at the crowd bopping along to the music. The place was nice, lights low and not too wild. The patrons chattered on in an interesting, clunky tongue with many harsh consonants.   
Which is why he almost jumped when he heard the rounded, looping sound of Gallifreyan being spoken beside him: 

"Fancy a dance?" 

"Excuse me?" The Doctor turned to see a curly-haired, fair-skinned humanoid smirking at him. 

"Indeed. How quaint to see you this young, Doctor." 

The Doctor blinked. The stranger was dressed in the gaudiest combination of patterns and colours he had ever seen, which seemed to shift in tone alongside the club's blinking spotlights. He blinked again, and could now make out where some clothing pieces began and others ended.  

"Are you not even going to greet me?"  

The Doctor snapped his head up to narrowed eyes.

"Sorry. Music's a bit loud, don't you think?" Nevertheless, he took the offered hand and smiled. He hadn't planned on this, but why not? ”Hello. How do you know my name?”

”Feel for yourself. The latest model; your direct successor.” 

”Oh! Two Time Lords, same unlikely club. You’re _me_.” 

The Sixth Doctor’s other hand went to his waist. ”Took my time, eh?”

The Fifth grinned. ”My manners haven’t improved, either. What am I doing here, anyway?”

”I’ll explain later.” The Sixth twirled them into the crowd. ”For now, let us dance.”

”You’d better keep that promise, Doctor, we ought to limit our contact…”

The other Time Lord just smiled. 

The electronic beats faded into something more… groovy, and the Doctor found himself in quite the playful jive dance. His future set the rhythm, even dipped him nearly to the floor a few times. When had the Doctor last jived, of all things? His new body never had, so it took more than one song to get the appropriate ’groove’ back. After three of them, the two Doctors had danced their way to the other side of the room.  

The Doctor caught his breath while the music calmed. Only a few swaying groups stayed on the floor. He opened his mouth, but got interrupted by his future hand grabbing his. 

"Let's go somewhere we can converse in peace, shall we?" 

Right, this must be the proper purpose of this meeting. 

The older Time Lord led them onto a staircase up to the rooms for rent. Almost all sound from below vanished as they reached the corridor and entered a dim-lit little room, which his older self evidently had the key to. The Doctor was handed a cup of tea (red 25th century Blue Widower, to be exact) from a tray placed on the cupboard. Since there were no chairs, the future Doctor plopped down on the edge of a bed. Headboard to the middle of a wall, the royalty-sized bed took up most of the available floor space. A forget-me-not blue curtain covered the wall opposing it. 

The Doctor took off his Panama hat to fan himself. The drink and the cosy but cool room made him aware how sweaty he’d gotten. Knocking back the tea, he hung the hat on the nearest bedpost at the foot end of the bed. Finally, he placed the cup on the nightstand and sat down between his hat and his future.

”So, what motivates me to drag myself to a private room in a pub?”

”It’s simple.” The other man put his cuppa away. ”I’ve come to seduce you.”

The Doctor stared.

”Oh come now, Doctor. You cannot be all that flabbergasted. I remember hanging about – alone in a nightclub – when suddenly, my future saunters along to invite me for a dance. Then, up to a room which contained no chairs.” The Sixth Doctor bent over to take off his shoes.

”What?” the past Doctor said.

”Was I not clear enough? I’m asking whether you want to have sex. Spend the night with me.”

The Doctor shook his head, shoulders tensing upwards protectively.  

”I, I get that.” He smiled – was this a joke? Or some form of outrageous code? ”But… why would I have um, relations, with you? Me?”

The Sixth Doctor raised his eyebrows. ”Why, there are multiple benefits in this, our shared endeavor. Chiefly, that being your future self – thus having already partaken – you can trust me to give a most satisfactory, attentive performance.”

”Attentive?” The Doctor snorted. ”You seem like the type to brag rather than earn.”

”Don’t be daft, Five,” the older man sneered, kicking off all his footwear. ”I know your current biological and erotic sensibilities better than you do – I’ve had to live through all of it.”

”That doesn’t sound very promising.”

”You don’t sound very open-minded.”

”I like to think that I usually am, but this case seems illegal enough for me to refuse.”

”Really, Doctor?” The colorful Time Lord stood, and walked over to the coat hanger next to the door and the cupboard. ”I didn’t imagine lawfulness would be on my mind.” He pulled on his pink lapel, cat badge glinting as he began taking the whole fashion explosion off. ”Moreover, is it actually illegal when I can recall it?”

He turned around, and his younger self’s eyes followed the patchwork dragging off. Underneath it, the back of the waistcoat was a soft blue. Which made the yellow-striped trousers the main attention grabber.

The Doctor’s gaze fell on his future bum.

”Er.”

The Sixth tilted his hips, apparently fiddling with the coat’s hook.

”It’s not polite to stare.”

”You’re deliberate,” the younger man retorted.

”You’re being rude. Not to mention narcissistic.”

”Well, it’s not every day you get to take a good look at yourself,” the Doctor admitted. ”Might I compliment my own good looks?”

”With pleasure.” The broad man straightened his pose, slid his hands into his back pockets. ”And if I may agree with our Tenth self –” he squeezed himself, turning his head to smirk at the blond on the bed, ”– I really have the best arse out of us.”

The Doctor shook his head and tried to look at his face. ”Tenth? You’ve met our Tenth?”

”I’ve met most.” He sat down right next to himself this time – their thighs touched. ”But remind me, Five; have you masturbated yet? Gotten an idea of what you like?”

”Wh-what kind of question is that?” The Fifth felt his face blush. Why, though? This was the most private he could get with another being. He couldn’t keep secrets from a future him, anyway. ”I… have. Once. And er, no, not anything in particular.”

”Would you like to find out?” His next self still used a matter-of-factly tone, but there was something like humour in his face… something sultry from under those half-lidded eyes.

The Doctor glared, yet found that his shoulders relaxed. ”Why.”

The Sixth dropped his voice to a whisper: ”For the fun of it, Fivey.” He raised a supple hand to brush against the younger man’s neck.

”I…”

”Would you let me try touching you?”

Confused, the Doctor felt his Fifth set of skin tingle underneath the fingers stroking from under his jaw to collarbone. Yet… pleased?

He exhaled. ”Alright.”

Oh, the neck. The caresses reminded him how, much like the hands, it was a weak zone. They made his head loll to the side to make way for the palm to pet it, thumb to glide down his jaw line… Fingers flat on the younger Time Lord’s neck, the thumb reached over his chin to press at his lips. The Doctor, as if on reflex, made a little _smack_ noise.

”Wait…” he sighed when the digit moved down. ”Do that again.”

This time, the Doctor caught the Sixth’s thumb between his lips. Without any real decision, he sucked on it. Licked the pad, nearly bobbed his head along with the thumb curving and un-curving, in and out. He watched the older man shut his eyes and breathe harder, even bite his lower lip.

Despite his usual chastity, the Doctor had the rare occasions where he enjoyed these kinds of feelings bubbling up from his loins. But he had always felt some sense of bond was required for him to be interested in taking it further than an appreciative look. Indeed, his tempter was handsome, sensual even, but the question was if he felt like more than a stranger to the Doctor.

Either way, this Fifth body of his seemed eager to gain the offered… experience.

The thumb was replaced with a soft pair of lips.

”Six,” the Doctor mumbled.

”Five,” Six answered, leaning away, coaxing the young one to follow, kiss him of his own accord. He did, unsure, one hand steadying on the bed covers and the other hesitating at the elder’s thick legs.

Gentle hands slipped underneath the shoulders of his cricketer’s coat to slide it off, throw it on the bedpost behind the Fifth, although he heard it drop to the floor. At the break of the kiss, the Doctor’s jumper was pulled over his head, leaving his hair static and floating. He patted it down, self-conscious about it still, even thinking that the other man’s mass of golden curls seemed like a lovely cross between his own and their Fourth self’s hair.

But he forgot about that as soon as he realized that another person’s hands were unbuttoning his shirt, unhooking his suspenders… on his bare chest and giving him goose bumps.

”Five? You look more than slightly terrified. Is this too fast for you?”

”Huh? No it’s fine. I’m fine. Mmm.”

Six smiled at the younger man’s breathing becoming shallower when his nipples were squeezed. ”Oh, I _see_ …”

The Fifth wrung his shirt off to give his shaking hands something to do. Before it had landed on the floor, the Sixth kissed him, actually kissed him so deeply that he pushed the slimmer man onto his back, scooting them both up to lie fully on the broad, springy bed. He only let go to mouth other parts of his half-naked, gasping counterpart.

The Fifth Doctor wasn't sure what was more wrong; the fact that he was having sex with himself from his future, or that he would much rather think of that self as just a stranger he'd chosen for this undignified pleasure... Breaking the Laws of Time, just to fulfill simple, carnal desires. The Time Lord superego of his detested his willingness to be laid down and licked like an animal, while the renegade id preferred to lay back and enjoy it, making little noises and arching his neck for better access.

Still, he had to admit that having sex for the first time after each regeneration was quite joyful. The body gave you the pleasant surprise of new sensations without any of the anxiety the mind might have had from simple inexperience.

It was a matter of willpower to let go of legal matters. The languid Time Lord forced himself to focus on the tongue flicking his left nipple, anticipate the hands undoing his trousers… and be utterly relieved at them finally giving him a good rub through his pants. Why had he even tried to ignore how excited he’d already become? Six’s mouth or hands would be good, would be perfect for taking him away…

”Touch me,” he moaned. _Moaned_. When had he last sounded like this?

”Not yet, big boy…”

Nothing else had to matter, not right now, not when his body craved contact, burned stronger with lust for every touch, so close to someone aroused and enthusiastic. Just _someone_ , not himself. Unlike his own, the other man’s trousers definitely weren’t bigger on the inside – he could feel another’s length tightening the fabric between their thighs.

_Don’t._

Five’s hands fumbled to unbutton his partner’s waistcoat while their tongues played, lips nipped at each other. Groaning at Six’s teeth scraping his neck _just right_ , Five only noticed his pants had been pulled down when the larger man rose onto knees and elbows, and cool air licked at his parts. One forearm slunk underneath Five’s head for support. Another careful hand stroked his pelvis.

”Five, you’re _leaking_ …” Six breathed, mesmerized.

The Fifth looked down at himself. Being a few months old, he was very unused to the seldom sight of this body’s erection. He saw it quivering, wetting, as he tensed at Six’s clever touch, fingers dancing just above his skin, so damn close… But no, just light contact with his groin. Nails on skin like a paintbrush, pressing down, and Five was dribbling onto his own stomach and tipping his head back. A quick stroke of the thumb caught some of his wetness to draw lines around him, but the nails pressed on… sharp, hot, what was this feeling…

”Nngh… what are you…?”

The Fifth looked down, saw five tiny, bright red marks at the join of his inner thigh and groin. They stung. His tip was dark, hard, and shiny.

The offending hand hovered over where he really wanted it.

”Please.” He gulped. ”Please.”

Five closed his eyes.

Six made his first real move.

”Oooh, my, go- _ahh_ ~!” the Fifth called out, gripping the lapels of the Sixth’s waistcoat like he would fall off into deep space if he didn’t, like his skin was explosive and his partner’s fingers had sparks at their ends.

There really was a dangerous, intoxicating difference between touching yourself and _being touched_ by your… no, just _someone else_ touching you has to be enough. Someone whose intentions you had to trust to answer your body’s pleads.

But still, he… he _knew_. The older man knew what he was doing, he knew where to press and stroke and tug and rub tiny circles, and his hand seemed to curve too snugly around him to even be real. The Fifth lost himself in the process, writhed in the embrace of the other, hips pumping, face contorting, choking on his own cries. His young skin became as liquid as a wild river, and something like true agony came rumbling from deep within him.

In the blast of white noise, all thought disappeared.

Therefore, that rich whisper had plenty of room to fill his mind.

”Fivey…”

”I…ah… Hah-ahh…” Five forgot what he tried to say. ”M-my… You…” He lowered his hips, stiff elbows shaking. He shivered when Six chuckled and raised his slicked, dripping hand to the younger’s face. The thumb and index finger were coated in white, glittering, glowing mess, smelled faintly acidic.

”See? I told you.” Six licked some of the semen and lubrication up – like buttercream from a pastry. ”Attentive.”

Five hid his face behind a forearm. ”Fuck.”

Six tsk-ed, and shifted to straddle the leaner man. ”Such an eloquent request.” He rose to his knees, towering above him. ”Come here.”

Five lay looking at him, catching his breath, before he sat up to unbutton his partner’s trousers, kissing the fabric as he went. Six rested a palm on the back of his head – not pressing, mind, just petting, which made his unaccustomed skin tingle in anticipation.

Easing the striped clothes down his thighs, Five kneaded the other’s behind – he really did have a great arse, muscular and plump. He paused when realizing the thickness of the reddened, slick cock before him, then opened as wide as he could to slide his lips over its head. Six groaned from above, clawing at Five’s scalp.

Five shook where he sat. He felt his thighs rub together at his skin tickling and stinging. Why did that feel so good, and how had he not discovered it before? He pushed the shaft deeper in his mouth, moaned around it, the strain it put to his throat made his body sing, yes, more…

”Oh, Doctor…”

_Doctor!?_

The Fifth Doctor shoved the other man off of his lap.

_Disgusting._

While the Doctor shuffled backwards in panic, his future self clumsily sat up, pulled his pants back into place.

_Disgrace!_

”What was that for?” his next self spat, but instantly showed regret and said, softer: ”Doctor, are you alright?”

”How in all one thousand seventy-four hells would I be ” _all right_ ’?” the Doctor yelled. ”I’m shagging myself!”

He expected some snarking like ’Obviously’ back, but the other Doctor kept quiet, looking at him like he had ripped away a disguise.

The Doctor stammered to make sense out of his hammering hearts. ”I can’t just… This, this is no way to behave! We, I mean I cannot exploit myself for these ridiculous un-necessities. This is bad – a-and wrong, I can’t cross my own time stream, for one thing, it’s the First Law of Time, and I’ve never even dreamed a Time Lord would…”

His next self blushed – in anger? ”Naturally, you haven’t. But we’re not just any other Time Lord. Remember Two and Three?”

”What about them? Er, me.”

”No, I said, _remember_ them?”

The Doctor relaxed his crossed legs a little. ”I don’t… what am I supposed to answer?”

The Sixth’s brow furrowed. ”Ah.”

”What?”

”Would you like to keep going?”

_PLEASE_ , screamed the renegade id. _You should never have come here_ , said the Time Lord superego.

”I don’t know.”

His next self laid down on his side. ”We’ll rest for a bit, then.”

The Doctor did the same with his back to the other, only inches apart. The breath on his back seemed impossibly peaceful, seeing as his own thoughts wouldn’t stop swirling. Now that his physical body was still, he even had to mentally jerk back bits of telepathic peaks from reaching out behind him.

Heavens, this got worse by the minute.

Strangely enough, the Doctor was still very much erect. And to the point of hurting – his body longed for those hands to pump his shaft or rake his hair or rub his neck, anything. Five gulped, and his tongue reminded him of the taste of the future self’s lips, fingers, skin, the juices from that dick sliding down his throat. Dear, sweet… fuck.

”Let’s do it," the Fifth Doctor said.

No, _Five_ said. The Time Lord would have no part in this, but apparently _Five_ , damn it all, had needs.

”Are you sure?”

”Yes!” Five rolled over and grabbed his partner’s shoulders. ”Make love to me, have sex with me, just _fuck me_ already!”

Six’s expression went from perplexed to triumphant, and he attacked him with deep kisses. Five rocked onto his back from the force, but revelled in it, no longer passive, running his hands across the other’s body, feeling his weight.

He made a needy squeak when Six pulled away, snickering.

”Perhaps you ought to finish the job, Fivey.”

The younger man giggled, uncharacteristically boyish, and helped get the older out of his waistcoat and shirt as he pulled pants back down, trousers off from where they had bunched around his knees. Five had the remaining clothing on his lower body dragged off as well. Both finally naked, they rolled around on the bed, tugging at hair, kissing and nipping at and groping each other. Besides Six’s heavenly fluffy head of hair, Five especially enjoyed his own almost hairless skin contrasting the other’s thickets of curls, which covered his powerful build from arms to chest to belly and legs.

”Fuck me," Five gasped at the break of another kiss.

”I thought I was?” Six grinned, grinding their hips together a bit faster.

”Er, no, I mean…” Five pressed the larger man up and off for the sake of eye contact. ”Fuck my arse…”

Six stilled entirely, smiling down at him. In the dim lighting, his not-quite green eyes seemed to glow, like lit from within. During these drawn-out seconds before any reply, the loss of movement made Five squirm.

Of course it was bloody deliberate of Six, because he got up and left the bed without so much as a warning. Five shut his eyes, muttering over the sound of a drawer pulling out, then in. Something cold and plastic poked his side; Six had taken out a flask of lube.

Oh, right… Prepared.

_Done this before._

Five forced the thought to encourage him. He turned over, belly down. Looking away from his future.

”We wouldn’t usually have the need,” Six pointed out. ”Nevertheless, your body is having its first time. Are you certain you shan’t be on your side?”

”Get on with it,” Five closed his eyes again, ” _Sixie_.”

”You are spoiled.” That husky voice was suddenly right next to his ear, as a cool, slicked hand caressed his bum. Six licked the back of his neck exactly once – it made sparks crackle down Five’s spine. ”But if you order me around again, your righteous punishment shall not be overlooked.”

Punishment? Five swallowed. His cock twitched.

”Ah… Ooh…”  

Oh hell. He got a finger in. It alone felt thick and odd inside him.

”My, my…” Six cooed. 

Too slow, it moved far too slow. He tensed and relaxed and wanted more too soon. ”Ah… Ahno…”

”You need to speak up for me, Fivey. Communication is key. I want you to articulate, and preferably at full volume.” He chuckled. ”After all, it’s what you do best…”

What I do best?

”Another.” Five gulped. ”No, two more fingers. Please. A-and… faster.”

Oh, mercy, the result felt perfect. He moaned for every time the digits pushed inside, rubbed at his prostate, and it helped greatly that the elder’s tongue kept flicking across his nape. His whole being was heat and pleasure.

His mouth mumbled on its own.

”Loud and clear, my dear, or I will spank you.”

”Really, now?” Five whispered to the pillows.

The fingers slipped out, and his cheeks rung with pain as the palm smacked down. It made him wail, high-pitched and hoarse, then laugh.

Six went back to rubbing him. ”Good boy.”

”Oh, Six, please.” Five felt silly and fantastic. ”I want your cock inside me.”

Six’s smirk was outright audible. ”If you insist.”

The older man climbed on top of him, brandished the flask once more. Five heard it set aside, _clunk_ onto the bedside table, before hands grabbed hips and the wet tip pressed at his opening. It hurt to widen, but in a good way. Before he knew it, his elder was slowly filling him. As soon as Five began relaxing, Six inched in further, which made Five clench again and both moan.

Five wasn't quite sure when his partner started thrusting. He moved smoothly, rolling his hips rather than just sawing back and forth. His receiver lay slumped against the pillows, making lots of pointless, beautiful little noises.

”I know you’ve favored your nerve endings before your logic, Fivey,” Six purred. ”But the facts persist… This may be your first, but not mine, and it certainly won’t be our last. I’m too good to be legal, _Doctor_. Admit it.”

He squeezed the younger’s hips, breathed in his ear. ”For instance, I am well acquainted with each erogenous zone you’ve yet to locate… Although, speak of the devil…” He straightened back and up again, dragging his nails through Five’s hair, which earned him a long, shaky groan. ”I think I’ve just created them…”

”O-oh… Don’t… call me… that.” Five hugged the pillows tighter, but nothing could take away the pleasure, the heat inside him and the soaked sheets stroking his ravaged member.

”You cannot refuse my identity forever, Doctor. One day far, far away from now, you’ll change, and one night, you will – unavoidably, unabashedly – woo your very self, right… into… this," he punctuated the words with deeper thrusts, making his young self rise onto his knees. Five gasped louder with the new angle, bracing himself with a pillow between him and the wall, rocking back and forth.

The Fifth wanted to object, but no – he was too distracted, he told himself.

”Let me, mm… ease your fear, Doctor.” The older Time Lord steadied on a forearm against the wall, too. ”The universe is not collapsing. No reapers have manifested. Time lines are not rewriting, nor time streams redirecting. You do not sense the repercussions of breaching the Laws of Time, because nothing is amiss. Our travels are stable - our memories match. And I am flawless, for I recall all that I wanted, and needed. My Fifth…”

Six slowed down, let his other hand turn Five’s face towards him. Five squeaked and shut his eyes.

”Doctor, look at yourself. If you’re feeling so incredibly grand, then what is sincerely wrong about this?”

”Please," the Fifth said, squinting at his bright gaze. ”I’m so confused. I don’t understand, this is not supposed to be good, not at all…”

”But it is.” Strangely tender, Six kissed his cheek. ”Feelings, that is. Sensation. Not calculated rules. The same reason why I need friends and companionship.”

”Is that… really?”

”How else do you explain it?”

”But why… why in this way… ooh…” The younger Time Lord pulled on the sheets, whining at Six’s fingers scraping from the top of his head, along his neck, down his shoulder, just to pinch his nipple from behind.

Six licked behind his ear, bit the lobe. ”Who knows.”

”I can’t take this,” Five whimpered. ”I’m so close…”

”Come along whenever you want, Fivey. Trust me, it’s fun. And, hm, speaking of fun… let’s turn you over, shall we?”

”Oh? Sure…”

Five couldn’t help but yelp when the hardness pulled out of his arse, and again when he was flipped onto his back. Swiftly, Six bent the other’s toned legs up, prodded, and plunged back in like in old habit.

”Aoh!” Five threw his head back; his own length rubbed almost violently between soft skin.

”Yes, much better.” Swinging his hips, Six leaned down for a sloppy kiss, running his tongue around his receiver’s lips. Five let him sneak in an index finger and suckled it.

”That’s it, Fivey… I want to see you enjoy yourself.”

Damn the double meaning of that phrase.

Five rolled his tongue around the digit, looked into that glittering gaze from under his eyelashes. Moaned, but on purpose… There was a wish to rile his partner up, to make that sensual face twist in pleasure again, try but gloriously fail to make Six lose his dominance and shag him rougher as punishment.    
Those eyes fluttered shut, the words came out a purr:

”Naughty boy…”

_Degrading._

”Shut up," Five mumbled around the finger.

”You won’t, my dear,” Six sighed, and removed his hand, slowing down so that Five went from sliding back and forth over messed-up sheets to rocking gently.

_Done this before._

”I wish it would go away,” Five said. ”I can’t… it’s in the way, it’s in…”

”I know. You have to trust yourself, Doctor.”

”Then stop reminding me… we’re not supposed to do this.”

”I’m supposed to. I truly am.”

”What does that even mean? What could I possibly gain from it?”

”Infatuation. Satisfaction. Validation.” Six grunted a little at his partner clenching and locking his feet over his back. ”…In short, therapy.”

”But how do you know? Ah, I’ve – I’ve never met another me.”

Six’s eyes widened.

”Five.” Like the click of a button, his face went back to tender. ”I need you to listen to me, really listen.”

Five nodded.

”Our Second and Fourth selves… were head over heels for our Third. Our Second, so thoroughly that he’s barely responded to this me’s advances, and won’t begin to. It’s been frustrating to harbor this attraction when I’m since long aware of where my past affections lie, and since there’s some memories of Six yet to be fulfilled, I can’t refuse reenacting them. I’ve few clues why he persisted. Our Fourth, in contrast, had his pride prevent him from ever confessing his true desires, outside of thoughts.” Six paused to kiss him on the jaw. ”Reaping the benefits are the selves that accepts whatever expression of fondness I perform… the part of me that indulges and invites, revels and relives. The cold fact is that I’ve come to realize that whomever I favor in whichever form… it was, is, and always will be… me. Even if it’s not the kind of validation one particular self wants.”

That sounded more like heartbreak than therapy. Five couldn’t comprehend how this love life would be his as well, or why Six chose to tell him at all. Wasn’t this the same as a stranger recounting history he’d never seen? Or wasn’t this a forbidden timeline, just more paradoxes…?

It must be sympathy that made Five’s hearts twist at the mention of mere numbers.

”Oh, Fivey… But don’t make that face at me, I’m perfectly fine.”

The bad hurt in Five didn’t believe him.

No, focus on the good hurt, focus on the fun. That wasn’t difficult, since Five was used to it by now, and Six just kept moving, even as they talked.

But it would be wrong not to try comforting his partner, whether Five understood or not.

”If that’s true, my tastes must’ve been… different.” He put his hand into golden, silky curls, brought the other’s face closer. ” _I_ would favor you.”

Six’s brow might have twitched. ”Is that so?”

”Why wouldn’t I? You’re gorgeous.”

”I know.”

If the Fifth Doctor weren’t already so hot and bothered, the Sixth’s face bursting into a smirk would’ve done it ten times over. Not to mention the renewed vigor in the union of their bodies.

”Uh. N-not that I should deny my other selves’s looks. I-it’s just that, you’ve treated me so well this evening, and you are, ah, aesthetically pleasing, especially in the nude, um…”

”Doctor, I am literally penetrating you for sexual pleasure. I should think you’re a tad late to renounce your attraction to me.”

”S-sorry, hah," Five gasped at Six pressing perfectly at his prostate. ”I just… oh, right there…”

”Pretty Fivey, promiscuous Tarts…” Six mumbled to his hair, planting kisses.

”Tarts…?”

But Five dismissed the thought – the mouth moved so hungrily on his neck.

”I’m having a difficult time, believing this,” Five said. ”Ahh… Believing you… It’s almost like you were made for me.”

Six stopped mid-thrust, buried to the hilt.

”…Silly Doctor, letting the hormones get to your head. I’m not made for me.” He propped himself up on straight arms and resumed the rhythm, looking at the wall. ”Eight is.”

”Eight, wha… Six? Oh, please, _Six_ – I’m gonna –” Five arched his back, pulling on the sheets. ”Harder…!”

The other man’s eyes snapped back to him. Five felt hands grab his thighs and the shaft mercilessly _slam_ into him, on and on and on and _on_ …

”Don’t. Call me. That.”

Five barely understood the snarling voice; he was too busy melting.

”Quit. Denying. Yourself.”

Something, something about words flying between their heads, about telepathic peaks yearning for their counterparts… They clashed like waves, mixing and flowing into one another, and something about those next words made the voice hit not just his ears, but rattle his whole brain:

” _Say it – say your name!_ ”

As teeth clamped down on his neck and his skin sang again, electric jolts shooting into his spine from above and below, the room, the world, all of his own existence was replaced with the Fifth screaming in delicious torture:

”DOCTOR!”

” _Coming_ ,” the voice whispered. ” _Contact_.”

~*~*~*~

_The young Time Lord called Eight, the one with the heavy eyelids and long hair, he came to me like it was meant to be. He spoke of time streams and beauty, of comfort and loops, of perception and stability. I didn’t understand at the time, but he forgave me like the happy memory of teenhood troubles I was to him. Too good to be legal, and I was too young to care…_

_…I get so attached to myself, really. It was Fancypants and the short chap with the umbrella, even Eight, the Original, the rainbow fellow and the lad with the bow-tie… I have a hard time remembering the details. All of them, they love me and the previous me so much, their embraces are like laced with sweet nostalgia…_

_…All this attention is strange, but endearing. I suspect I’m taking pity on my situation. No… no, it’s sympathy, there’s a very real difference. The Scarecrow, Teeth and Curls, the by now infamous Eight… There’s a tall, Scottish one, but I’m not allowed to remember all of the numbers. Time itself cannot be trusted to this me…_

_…I got hooked to this tomfoolery, is all I’m saying. They’re all very handsome chaps, and who doesn’t enjoy seeing such ones squirming and orgasming under your control? Fivey and Sixie, they’re mine and each other’s at once… There’s a bald one who enjoys my leather, and Eight’s been showing up more and more. I’m getting better at manipulating memories… particularly poor old Fancypants. Sorry, it’s for my own good. I’m not in what’s-it’s-name-and-why-does-it-matter, I’m not… I just want to hold me, feel me, I just need this…_

_…Perhaps I’ve gotten out of hand…_

~*~*~*~

In the physical world, the buccaneer and the cricketer moved in the most lovingly mechanical way. Arms wrapped around the topping one, fingers tangled blond curls and strands. Lips locked. Come closer, my sweethearts, you need to remember, you’re not yourself without it…

~*~*~*~

The Sixth Doctor's consciousness was a bombardment of bubbling colours and drilling spikes, a cacophony of moody noises and operatic song. Like being trapped in a hot waterfall, the steam and crushing water making it impossible to know where you were going.

For a few, terrifying moments, the Fifth Doctor experienced how all this chaos sprouted from the Sixth like thorny rainbow rose bushes, guarding yet fleeing from something – something lying still and pale around the core of his being.

An incurable, static Silence.

A flash, it was gone, and Five was stretched in every direction inside Six’s firework of a mind, which peppered him, tore him open to fill him up with sounds and sights, touches and talks he didn’t know he had forgotten.

The Fifth Doctor let the memories wash over his thirsting psyche, swallowing time streams like water and cum. In them, he kept calling his current self things like ”Tarts” and ”the cricket chap," ”the pretty one," ”the bottom," and the more recent the recollection, the more often his own face appeared. His pretty face, his slender frame, his sculpted hands – all too often tied up, arching, crying out. The Fifth’s soft mouth, closed around his cock or a ball gag…

_’Good boy, Fivey,’ he chuckled._ Back when his grin and hair were larger. _’I’ll surely be looking forward to this…’_

However, the further back the Doctor remembered and the younger his mind was, the more platonic the perception of that blond chap in beige became… Until his mind was stuck, overcome with a bizarre rush of emotions, at this one moment where the Fifth gently took his wrinkled, faint First hand to kiss it in greeting.

_’Young man, whatever are you leading me into?’_

His Sixth self had not torn him up at all.

The wound had been there all this time. The

_Doubt._

Gaping empty, but invisible.

His consciousness tumbled to land at the end of the waterfall, and it was plush with affection, healing the horror, the emptiness and uncertainty he’d felt ever since the zero room. Rest in the Doctor’s weariness, fun for his curiosity. A timeline imperfect, jagged and fuzzy, but shimmering with beauty, comfort… and a very odd kind of stability.

Self-love?

The Sixth’s precise voice spoke in letters, numbers and songs, the walls of their skulls echoing back associations:

_Five (Fifth Doctor, Young Me (the mind doth wander)) Are you (still shattered) alright?_

Six seemed to use several languages in chorus. Five struggled to string any words together without blurting everything at once;

_Doctor, (Doctor Who? Sixth Doctor? Old Me, Mine? Friend, future selves, past selves, which am I, with My Darlings, where) had I gone? (Lost, Missing, Broken, WHY)_

_((stories ever told) Fivey Fivey Fantastic Fortunate Fivey) Tarts ((My Sweethearts) Restored Rejuvenated, Rejoice)_

_Ooh (Tarts, typical Sixie, Curls were you always, Mine), I remember (all of me) now (Is this real? WHY did I)_

_(break) We need to wake up (Come to me, My Fifth, Friend, Lover, young Me)_

_(oh goodness) How?_

_It’s simple (will Educate you, Eras ago)_

_(ahh!) Trying (I’m !!!)_

_Come to me_

 

The Doctor screamed again.

The pastel coloured Fifth ripped the murky inner walls round his core from the psychedelic Sixth’s pale ones. Or was it the other way around?

Some memories fled the younger psyche. They were not his to own yet.

~*~*~*~

Two sets of eyelids flung open.

The shaken Doctors panted, glistening in the light from the windows, sticky with sweat and semen.

”Oh," said the one on top, and his arms gave in.

The bottom’s breath was knocked out, and he pushed himself off to lie on their sides, clinging together as one.

The Fifth Doctor had no idea of how much time had passed, how many climaxes he’d gone through, or when the Sixth’s cock had slipped out of him. His back and bum were very, very sore, the burn annoying but pleasing. Five sighed, not entirely alarmed by the scope of his preferences.

”Safe,” he breathed. ”Always… so safe…”

”Doctor…” It was the first time Six’s voice sounded small to him. ”You’ve… returned. Oh.”

”You alright there, old chap?”

Six nuzzled his chest. ”More than. It was just as, hm, invigorating, the second time.”

”I can imagine.” Five laughed. ”Good Gallifrey, I really can imagine. This was meant to be.” He scooted down to kiss himself for a job flawlessly done.

”Doctor, affirm to me…” Six droned between their lazy smooching. ”What, mm, time is it…?”

”Er.” Five rose onto his arms, found a clock showing this planet’s sixteen hour-cycle above the door. The hour needle pointed straight down. ”Eight o’clock. Or, six o’clock, depending…”

”Aha," Six chuckled to himself and put his hands behind his neck. ”Approximately eleven hours then. Delightful.”

”E-eleven, just for telepathic bonding…?”

”There was a lot to reactivate, Tarts.”

”No, it’s not that. Just, with all of what we did while engaged, I’m surprised it didn’t take longer.”

”What can I say, I work efficiently.” Six stretched over the covers.

”Kitten," Five tried, but the pet name didn’t seem appropriate of this him to use.

”Lusty dog," Six purred, cocking an eyebrow.

The Doctor snuggled up beside his future, tangled his fingers in the curls on his broad chest. He thought of Six, this thunderous self he’d felt so often before, almost as much as Eight. Come to think of it, Six had never been his first before… Perhaps it had only been a matter of time. Knowing himself, Four would have been delighted to have Six this early on. Two wouldn’t exactly have objected either.

”Doctor, I’m afraid I don’t get it… why did this me ever erase my memories of myselves?”

”It was in a fit of regeneration madness," the Sixth Doctor began, eyes closed. ”A haphazard decision to try and follow our academic upbringing. Our societal standards, as it were. I was ashamed, believed myself sick of my supposedly depraved practices. Perhaps, somewhere in the back of my mind, heartbroken enough to reconsider my choices entirely.”

Five sighed. ”And so, I’ll know I have to bring it back as soon as possible. You said you’ve had relations with me, um, this me, before…?”

”Oh, indeed. When you’re me, you’ll be profusely prepared.”

”But there is no decision, is there?” Young hands coaxed Six to look at him. ”Or is there some kind of crossroads to this part in particular? Is it so vital I don’t erase my experiences? Not that I’m against this, but I’ve done it before. Protected myself from spoilers, given false information and whatnot.”

”You’ll learn that the two of us confine countless things in one another. But since we meet out of order, there shall be constant vigilance.”

Constant vigilance, the Fifth Doctor thought.

The Sixth Doctor narrowed his eyes, seemed to decide on something. Then, his voice was firmer than ever:

”Somewhere, somewhen, there is a timeline that breaks off. Where fear, self-loathing, and a weak imitation of morals, drove me to eradicate all whispers of contact with myself, even the parts which weren’t as… intimate. In that timeline, the universe is destroyed and conquered a few times over, because the Doctor cannot recall what actions his future was supposed to perform. Alternately, I continue my existence with the sense of self-love buried within me. The resulting discomfort remains, forever prickling my back, whispering of character development lost, like it never was. Or worse, I rewrite time so that I would’ve been terminated at my youngest, by the various villains several selves were meant to defeat. Thus, unravelling the tapestry of Time – obliterating Space.”

”…Ah.”

Six only squeezed the hand on his chest.

”Doctor?”

”Yes?”

”Thank you.”

”No need to, Tarts.”

”Shut up and accept it, Six, we actually fucked ourselves out of oblivion.”

”Reactivated memories while _making love_ , if I may, you slut.”

”Y-you’re a slut!”

”My little slut," Six cooed, lifting his flustered self on top of him. ”Precious, prudish, pain-loving, lively little Fivey.”

”Oh stop it, shut up, hehe… Oh my goodness!” Five rolled off the bed, somehow up on his feet, looking for his clothes. ”Nyssa, Tegan, Adric! How long have they waited in the TARDIS? What if they’ve wandered off looking for me? Tell me!” He swirled around, a bundle of cloth in his arms, already wearing his Panama hat.

”Relax, my dear Doctor. They spent the night in peace. Nyssa will be cooking breakfast as you enter. She’ll state that she thought you came back while they were sleeping, question where you’ve been, and point out that your hair is damp. Which is better than the alternative of showing up in our combined filth.”

Five dropped the pile back to the floor, hiding his scarlet face behind his fingers.

”Bumbling as always.”

”You’re bumbling.”

”You usually banter well when stressed.” Six sat up to cross his legs over the edge of the mattress, smirking. ”Still growing into it, am I?”

Five sighed and took off the hat to fold it and put it in his not-there pocket. It slipped off his hip and under the bed. ”Just show me the washroom, would you?”

His next self strolled across the floor and threw aside the curtain opposing the bed, unveiling a broad door. Behind it, a small light-blue room lit up. ”The Old Girl is just outside and we have two hours. Let’s shower, hm?”

”Sounds like a plan.” Five stepped into the silvery shower booth, only to have soft arms circling his waist as the door closed.

”It’s the only plan.” Six turned a knob.

”Thank you.”

”You’re welcome.”

For a moment, the water didn’t run where the two Doctors’s skin pressed together.

Five looked at his hands, his current hands who he had only touched (merely pinned down, bit, kissed, held, and sucked) before, rather than controlled. He didn’t know what to name the feeling of this new body, this smooth skin and luscious, masochistic flesh. All he knew was a lump in his throat and a shudder in his groin.

The Fifth him was no longer just a friend, a coy lover, nor a personality not fully formed in his mind yet – he was simply the Doctor. The transition from old Four to young Five was unquestionably real. And there was always shock and awe in becoming the next part of himself, in the wonder of change.

A singe of terror.

And then, the chaos of passion. The roar of desire that rebuilt yet stayed the same at his core, just like each new face. He only had himself to blame.

”Six?”

Even through the noisy shower, he could hear the older Doctor smiling: ”Yes, Fivey?”

Five turned around in his arms to hug the shorter Doctor.

”I’m… sorry I tried to forget you. Me. Us. I understand what happened, but it wasn’t right. At all.”

His future pulled him closer, blocking the water between them again.

”You’re right, and it was terrible of me. Apology accepted.”

Five smiled for a second, kissed his nape, sighed again. After an eternal minute, he added:

”I don’t know what came over me.”

The hand that rested on the Doctor’s past shoulder clenched into a fist.

”Neither do I.”

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
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